Part two: We don’t talk about miscarriages, and we need to. One patient shares her experience and advice to women and loved ones.
In the second of Megan’s articles, she provides valuable information for loved-ones to better communicate and support someone who is experiencing a miscarriage.
5 Responses to Someone having a Miscarriage
It can be difficult to know the best way to support a loved one who has experienced a miscarriage. Finding the right words or actions to show that you are there for them can be hard to navigate, but oftentimes it is the little things that make the biggest difference. Here are five ways to support a loved one who has experienced a miscarriage:
There isn’t a Hallmark category. There isn’t a clear ceremony or event with customs and traditions. There’s isn’t a way to “fix it.” So ask. Some people want no memory or recognition of the loss; be willing to respect that request.
- Be there: Offer to help with some physical lifting or errands during and the days immediately following. Mowing the lawn can become a bear when you are anemic. Also, be willing to just listen (no response needed) and hug and hold.
- Make meals/ bring treats: a thoughtful meal or snack can lift spirits and take some of the burden off having to prepare food. It is also makes a good reason to visit your loved one.
- Respect: Ask if it’s ok to bring flowers, or send a card.
- Educate yourself: do a Google search and learn the basics, the difference between an abortion and a miscarriage (trick question, they are medically the same, but can be politically charged words). The options and procedures may have changed since the prior generation. For example, the woman is not likely to be admitted to the maternity ward after a miscarriage these days.
- Advocate: Consider making a donation to women’s health research, or lobbying your Congressperson for better allocation of research funds for reproductive health.
By Megan Hladilek